Go Red For Women

February is Go Red For Women Month. The purpose is to help educate women about heart health. I, like so many have been personally affected by this epidemic, this is my family's story.

I remember that morning like it was yesterday. I was supposed to be at the airport by 9:00 a.m. and already it was 8:03. How was I going to make it? I’d reminded my mom to wake me up at 6:00 a.m. What happened? I liked to be prepared and relaxed before I took a flight. Like most of the world, I too was a little apprehensive to fly since 9/11. Why didn’t mom wake me up? Not everyone can get ready, pack, eat breakfast, watch the news, take the hour-long drive to the airport and still have time to spare like she can. I could feel the anger building inside me. As I marched up the stairs I rehearsed what I was going to say to her, “I hope you plan on paying the $200 flight transfer fee! It’s your fault I’m going to be late.” I was going to miss my flight. Of course this was happening to me. Ultimately I knew I would be on time, I just hated being rushed. It was a good thing I’d packed the night before.
I walked down the hall to the closed door in front of me. Looking back, it felt like the longest walk I’d ever taken. Slow motion. This morning, something seemed different as I listened outside her room. Something wasn’t right. I was used to hearing the sounds of the radio, “The Today Show” blasting on the TV, the blow dryer and the occasional off pitched singing. Maybe she’d be on the phone, but there was never silence in the morning.
I opened the door, there was mom still in bed, her alarm silent. Did she sleep in again? Did she forget to set the alarm? She was going to be late too, and I knew she had a meeting.
“Mom you forgot to set your alarm.”
She was such a sound sleeper.
I grabbed the covers at the foot of the bed and in one swift motion shimmied myself up next to her carefully as to make as little movement as possible. I laid my head on the pillow next to hers and reached my hand out to wake her up.
I softly touched her shoulder.
Ice.
Shock and horror leapt through my body, first through my legs and then into my stomach.
“Mom!”
“Mom!”
I sat up and knew. She was not sleeping. She was dead.
What was I going to do? We were all alone in the house. I moved myself over her limp body and turned her over on her back. I was CPR certified, I could save her. Nothing was wrong I told myself. As I rolled her tiny body over the truth of that morning hit me like a fire hose to the stomach. I lost my breath and began to dry heave. The once soft, white skin of my mother was now hideous shades of purple, blue and yellow. I could see the veins running through her cheeks, the blood pooled to the side of her body. She looked more like a victim of domestic abuse. This was not my mom!
Who could do this? Why would God take away such a beautiful and vibrant person? She was too young. Take me instead. Take anyone, anyone at all, just don’t take her. I knew I was too late. I knew I couldn’t save my mom. I reached behind her and pulled her up next to me. The words were gone; I was choking on my own tongue. I couldn’t even cry. All I could do was scream. But these weren’t screams like I had heard before; they were animalistic, primitive screams, and the noises coming from my own body scared me. My body was shutting down as I held my dead mom in my arms; her head falling back, her mouth hanging open.
I was alone. All alone.
I knew there was nothing more I could do. I needed help. Still wailing, I frantically grabbed the phone next to the bed and dialed 9-1-1.
“Help me my mom is dead! My mom is dead! Hurry!”
I fell to my knees next to the bed and just screamed. I wanted to do something. I wanted to help.
“Please send someone quickly!”
I was so afraid. My future flashed before my eyes. My best friend was gone. My mom was gone. She would never see me graduate. She would never see me fall in love and get married. My children would never know the life force that was their grandma. I was no longer a man; I was a helpless baby. I curled up in the fetal position as I slumped next to the bed, holding her cold, lifeless hand in mine. I couldn’t hold back, my body began to jerk as I realized the impact of what was happening. My stomach flexed and I threw up. I had no control. I wanted someone to tell me it was going to be ok. I wanted the operator on the other end of the line to do more. Why wasn’t she helping me?
I screamed.
“Sir,” she replied, “I’m going to have to ask you to stay calm.”
How dare she? How could anyone expect me to stay calm? No one knows what this is like.
“F*** you!” I said, “f*** you. My mom is dead.”
I slammed the phone against the wall shattering it to pieces. My mom was dead.
My mom died just three days after her 53rd birthday. Her death ultimately could have been prevented.
Heart disease is the number one leading cause of death in American women, taking lives at a rate faster than all cancers combined. Even more frightening, like my mother, many of these women’s lives could have been saved if more had been educated and a little action was taken.
This silent epidemic kills more than 500,000 women a year, an average of one in every three women. Statistics show that women are 1.6 times more likely to suffer and die from a heart disease related illnesses than men. So why is so little being done to educate and prevent women and their families from becoming victims? When it comes to women’s health, care for the breasts, ovaries and uterus are highly stressed, but heart disease is often overlooked. Women often think of heart disease as a man’s disease, and are quick to recognize the symptoms in men but all too often ignore the symptoms in themselves.
Unlike men, signs of heart disease in women are not as obvious and are often mistaken as cold or flu symptoms. In today’s fast-paced world many women hold jobs and take care of children. A 2001 poll showed that two-thirds of women with children worked more than 30 hours a week outside the home. Add that to soccer games, piano practice, grocery shopping and dinner, many women do not take the time to get the proper medical care they need. The needs of their families come first. But what happens when those children don’t have a mom to care for them anymore?
Here are some signs to look for: Sudden onset of total body weakness; body aches; an overall feeling of illness; discomfort in the neck and back; dizziness, and lightheadedness; sweating; nausea and vomiting.
Doctors agree it is time women take a more active role in their health. Only eight percent of women view heart disease as a serious health risk in themselves. It is important for women to watch for these symptoms but physicians say there are steps they can take to help prevent heart disease. Often labeled as risk factors, here are some lifestyle changes that can make a difference:
Cigarette smoking: Women who smoke are six times more likely to suffer from heart disease than those who don’t.
Cholesterol: Remember to ask your doctor about your cholesterol levels, the good and the bad. A cholesterol count of 200 milligrams per deciliter of blood is considered healthy.
Exercise and weight: Regular aerobic exercise has been shown to strengthen the heart muscle. Even moderate exercise like brisk walking can benefit the heart.
Alcohol consumption: Though this topic is very controversial, excessive drinking can not only effect the heart, but a number of other body functions as well.
Social and psychological factors: Stress. High demands and low control have been shown to increase rates of heart disease. Whether working in or outside the home, it is important to take a little time to relax.
Hereditary: While it is important for women to keep all risk factors in check, hereditary plays a vital role. If you have a history of heart disease in your family, it is important to regularly check the health of your heart, especially if your father had heart problems before the age of 55 or your mother before the age of 65.
So while soccer games and music lessons are important, the most important thing mothers can do for their kids is be there. If you can’t take the time to educate yourself and get the proper care you need, do it for your families. Do it so your children don’t have to go through what I did. Please take the time to take care of yourself. Your life is the best you can give them.
For more information and educational resources on heart disease in women, visit the American Heart Association at www.americanheart.org.