Quest to un-fat: Day 2

I wish I had something funny to say. But I'm trying to focus on getting in shape. Ugh! Alright, here it is, I like cupcakes. I like Twinkies... All varieties ;). I don't like working out. I don't like chocking down chicken day after day. Yes, it's day 2 and I'm referring to it as day after day. I wanted a doughnut so bad this morning. Ok... Enough about food. Here's the problem I have. I want results NOW. I figure after two days I should have dropped at least 20 lbs, right? I mean I watch my favorite fatties on Biggest Loser week after week lose 35 pounds a week. I mean I don't want to lose 35 pounds, I do enjoy the ability to hold my own body up and keep mobile. Maybe my goal should be to get big enough to go on Biggest Loser. Anyone want to be my partner? I could use $1M, how about you. And I bet Id look FANTASTIC in a moo moo!!

I did however take my day one picture yesterday. Sure do with I knew how to post pics on here. I was going to pose in my underwear for y'all but I figured there's enough punishment in the world, I won't subject you to that. I'll save that for my day 90 pic and then maybe for my porn career. Ok, let's get real, I've got to lose a lot in some areas and gain a lot in some areas.... Mmm hmm...

On different news, in my quest to take over Asia I now have readers in every continent... Allies! Well, every continent except Antarctica, but we all know it's not a REAL continent. It's like considering Delaware a state, Gary Herbert a governor, or gay people legitimate humans. (In case you're totally offended now, you should probably stop reading my blog all together since you obviously don't know that I'm joking and I'd prefer it if I didn't have idiots reading my blog.)

Ok, I'm off to pretend that the big glass of water I'm about to drink is actually a cookie... It's a stretch but I've got a good imagination.